My brother has asked me to go and stay with him for two nights in a couple of weeks. It will be a weekend so does not clash with my husband's work.
The plan is for me to go to London and Kent during this weekend with possibly the dazzling prospect of a trip over to France thrown in too. I may go to the theatre, have a full body massage or similar and my Dad and brother will cover all the costs.
To put this in context, I have never being away overnight apart from with work occasionally or when I was visiting my terminally ill mum. I guess both of those were OK as easily justifiable. It did not stop me feeling guilty or wondering if my partner would cope with the demands of three active children.
And yes, dear readers, I know I have to cope with it all on a daily basis.
Of course, it is tempting to throw caution to the wind and take off for 2 days of me time. I don't get much of that to be honest and I do think not having time to myself to do my own thing affects my mental wellbeing adversely.
I am sure I would enjoy myself as it is clear that I can call the shots as to what I do and where I go. When did that last happen?!
My worry is that I will be made to feel guilty about going or even just feel like I am being an inadequate mum by taking up this opportunity. My husband will not cope like I do and probably greet me with a litany of every naughty thing the children have done since I went away. I will then wonder if it was ever worth me going away in the first place.
However, if I capitulate and don't go, when will I ever get a break? In 13 years time when my youngest son turns 18 perhaps?
What do I do? What is the right thing to do for me, for my husband, for my children?