Search This Blog

Total Pageviews

Saturday, 12 February 2011

How should I respond to an invitation to go away for the weekend?

My brother has asked me to go and stay with him for two nights in a couple of weeks. It will be a weekend so does not clash with my husband's work.

The plan is for me to go to London and Kent during this weekend with possibly the dazzling prospect of a trip over to France thrown in too. I may go to the theatre, have a full body massage or similar and my Dad and brother will cover all the costs.

To put this in context, I have never being away overnight apart from with work occasionally or when I was visiting my terminally ill mum. I guess both of those were OK as easily justifiable. It did not stop me feeling guilty or wondering if my partner would cope with the demands of three active children.
And yes, dear readers, I know I have to cope with it all on a daily basis.

Of course, it is tempting to throw caution to the wind and take off for 2 days of me time. I don't get much of that to be honest and I do think not having time to myself to do my own thing affects my mental wellbeing adversely.

I am sure I would enjoy myself as it is clear that I can call the shots as to what I do and where I go. When did that last happen?!

My worry is that I will be made to feel guilty about going or even just feel like I am being an inadequate mum by taking up this opportunity. My husband will not cope like I do and probably greet me with a litany of every naughty thing the children have done since I went away. I will then wonder if it was ever worth me going away in the first place.

However, if I capitulate and don't go, when will I ever get a break? In 13 years time when my youngest son turns 18 perhaps?

What do I do? What is the right thing to do for me, for my husband, for my children?


  1. First, no one can "make you feel guilty" - you do that yourself! Second, your dad and brother think you deserve this and need the break, third, your partner is probably just as able to look after your children but in a different way to you and you should not insult him by believing otherwise, fourth it sounds as though you, your dad and your brother need some time out together.

  2. GO and leave the guilt behind as well. Think of it this way all machines need a service every now and then to keep them in tip top condition. You are going away to be emotionally serviced so that you can come back extra efficient. I would hardly call that being an inadequate mother. Me time is very important if we are to function properly, calmly and survive. Have a wonderful time adn I solook forward to hearing about how wonderful it was!!!!

  3. I think you should go Dad will cope just fine he not as hopeless as he looks sometime. You desever a well relaxed break.:P

  4. What are you waiting for? Get yourself off girl!!
    The first time I went on a weekend away (not that I've been on loads!) I felt really guilty leaving my kids behind. Got home expecting all three of them to jump on me with kisses and hugs and all I got was a "Oh hi Mum" Don't think they'd even missed me!
    Have your weekend away and enjoy it! xx

  5. do it! I'm going away for 4 nights in May with the girls & leaving my 3 behind, I did it 2 years ago too when my youngest was 6 months old - It's a much needed break, I appreciate everyone more when I get back, they appreciate me & most of all my Husband appreciates everything that I do - the kids love it, they help dad & dad treats them & they all work together to make sure the house is clean & tidy when I get back - and then everyone is happy! You must do it, you deserve it!

  6. Go.

    Enjoy yourself.

    Appreciate the break.

    Everyone deserves breaks sometimes. Including us mummies.

    Don't feel guilty at all. Just enjoy!! xx

  7. I've just come back from 4 days with two pals. My view is, if you don't go away once in a while, you forget yourself. It's also nice to be missed and return a little more appreciated. I remember when I took my first trip away from my two girls, I was filled with guilt that I was putting too much on my husband. The truth is, by allowing them time together, you're actually giving them a chance to get to know each other in a different way. Very often, Dads don't know what they are capable of until they get the chance to be in charge.
    Go away. Enjoy it and you'll come back refreshed.