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Thursday, 13 January 2011

Letter to my son

Firstly, I love you. I tell you that every day. It is the bit of being a Mum I do really well.

When you arrived in my world, I was fascinated by how you looked and how something as dozy as sex could have brought about a new little human. I remember telling you that you would have to be really clever because I was clueless.

This was proven when your Daddy came to visit later that day and asked where you were. I had a bath and the midwifes took you to the nursery. I just slept and did not even ask when you would be coming back to me.

I remember telephoning your Grandma who could not believe that so quickly after giving birth I was telephoning her. Your Daddy had already announced your arrival to her by telephone. She would not come that day telling me to rest up and she would come to see you the next day. This might have being Grandma understanding how much labour takes out of you. Or knowing your Grandma, she might have had bingo or a lunch club to attend.

The mums in the Maternity Ward kept asking me how come I had such a wonderful baby. You were quiet and did not cry. I just lay there gazing at you, my little miracle.

When the GP came along, he asked why I had not changed your nappy. Somehow I had not realised this would be necessary on the first day. Clueless, I told you.

Grandma and Grandad came to see you the next day. I remember pushing so hard in labour and delivering you for Grandma who had waited so long for a grandchild. There are not many grandparents who celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary before welcoming their grandchild. Your Daddy said I was amazing and you popped out so quickly that I took the midwives by surprise. I loved your Grandma you see.

Grandma and Grandad started a love-affair with you that day. Grandad was just as moved if less vocal than Grandma. Grandma said you were highly intelligent as you were following her with your gaze all around the room. She has, of course, being proved right. You are above average in everything and excel in mathematics, science and her great love of history.

I stayed in hospital for a week with you. Hey, the food was good and I wanted to keep you all to myself before returning to a house that included a teenage half-sister. That does not make me nice but I want to be honest about how I felt.

We put you in a special coat to go home in and it was too big so it looked like your arms were outstretched to the side. It made me and your Daddy laugh.

When we got home, we had fish and chips at which point you woke up and alerted me to the fact that motherhood includes demands on your time at the most inconvenient times.

Very soon, we took you to show you off to the village. It felt so alien to be pushing a pram around. Lovely though.

Us being us, it was not long before you had your first visit to a pub either.

We registered your birth and I remember insisting on having photographs taken of this milestone. I felt so happy with my loving partner and gorgeous baby boy.

We had a lovely three years before your sister came along. Just us three with you fitting in so well and just being a total joy. Looking after a baby was new to me but it was all so fascinating.

You were and remain very special to me. Never doubt that in the madness of our household now with a diva of a sister, a thug of a brother and a menagerie of animals.

I resolve to spend more one on one time with you this year. Special memory-making for me and my boy.