What my mantlepiece says about me and mine

Starting from left to right

1. Stripey mug of mile - this tells you that I get heartburn a lot and that my lovely son knows my tastes and got me a lovely bright mug for my birthday.

2. Various other mugs and beakers - this tells you that I am not the best housekeeper in the world and that my children are constantly thirsty (and hungry for that matter)

3. Car documents - these tell you we have permanent bad luck with cars

4. Random ribbon thing and pen - debris from artistic daughter's efforts

5. Wedding photo showing me and Him Indoors head butting each other and giggling - says it all and demonstrates our relationship very well. Also very rare as I have make-up on and look almost decent. The photo is displayed in a frame that is too big for the picture. This shows I am a cheapskate and buy such things in charity shops.

6. Photo of my youngest son aged 4 - looking very gorgeous, he will be a heartbreaker

7. Photo of my husband and oldest son when he was around 2 years old. We are on holiday in Mumbles at the lifeboat station. Husband looks so happy and carefree. I reflect how three children add grey hairs and stress to the mix.

8. Drawings of cunning cat and bright flowers - done by my late Mum specifically to ensure the children would remember her. And yes, she was both cunning and bright!

9. Photo of late Mum on Orient Express - a gift for her 50th wedding anniversary - the one time I did something really good in my life.

10. Dying roses and carnations from my husband who brings them rarely so I have to keep them till they go completely. These are in a Hot Chocolate machine thing. Why? Because I don't have a vase.

11. Oil burner and aromatic oils - part of my pseudo New Age interest

12. Medal my son got from Sports Day with third place written on it which is farcical cos he came last and then I pulled him out of the event (see the Sadism of Sports Day post from last week). So this shows how his teachers are trying to woo me out of an official complaint at how they treat him. Also various "taking part" certificates.

13. Two glass paperweights - one shows the Willow Fairy and was an inspired pressie from my best friend when my daughter was born. Other is a recent acquistion and shows the Eiffel Tower in Paris and my fashion-conscious daughter adores it.

14. The owl my late Mum bought for my oldest son. A statue type thing for him to have when he leaves home. She is now joined by two little owls.

15. Incense stick holder - another New Agey pretension

16. Hairdresser leaflet to remind me to get my hair cut. I am useless at going to the hairdressers.

17. One of the three wise monkeys covering his eyes because it represents how I look when I face life. I bought it for my husband for his office but my daughter stole it back.

18. Pine cone - a pressie from my oldest son

19. A clock and two Next type framed thingies - acquired cheap off Netmums Nearly New boards

20. A box of crystals - another New Age pretension and another charity shop find

21. A picture of Madonna and child - sent to me by my old college friend, barrister turned nun.

There you go. What do the contents of your mantlepiece say about you? And what do you think mine say about me?