I tuned in to watch Piers Morgan's interview with Cheryl Cole.
It was painful to watch a woman still clearly in distress after the experiences of infidelity and life-threatening illness. I also found it interesting how she talked of feeling "freer" earlier in her career. Fame demands a high price and moving from one sort of life to another fast must impact adversely on mental health in some way. I remember on a much smaller scale going to Cambridge and then neither fitting in properly there or back home in a northern mill town. Celebrities are human first and foremost.
On the relationship front, she seemed to stay loyal to her ex-husband. She certainly did not bad-mouth him and said positive things about him. It was not that far away from the domestic violence victim who might say that he always says sorry in the morning. That does not make things OK whether he has hurt you emotionally, sexually or physically. Whilst I might be able to forgive infidelity if the prize was important enough, I find it insulting that some of her ex's antics were just puerile. I can't see how she deserved that at all.
I have had the heartbreak of losing a long-term relationship that I was totally committed to. I remember being shocked at how it hurt physically as well as emotionally. I felt as if I had lost a limb. It is not at all easy when who you see as your best friend walks away and hurts you too. I questioned my own judgement on everything and still do to an extent. How could I have got it so wrong? It has left me not quite sure of myself in the way I used to be.
So with white wine in the building last night, throughout the course of the evening I sat ranting probably looking like a version of Lily Savage. I ranted at people in the house who would listen and then when they went to bed, I gave vent loud and clear on Facebook and Twitter. Healthy or not healthy? I am not sure.
Cheryl did not deserve treating like shit.
And you know what, nor did I?
And nor do you.