I had my daily appointment with Philip Schofield and Holly Willoughby today. For many of us chained to the house for whatever reason, ITV's This Morning is a bit of a lifeline and a glimpse of at least part of the outside world.
Today, they had the sex therapist in. She talked about viewer problems, demonstrated how to massage and introducted an innocent like me to various sex toys. Must remember to tell daughter that no she cannot have a rabbit for Christmas!
One woman was complaining that she had lost her libido since the birth of her baby 22 weeks ago. Any one with half a brain might think that a lack of interest in sex when confronted by the huge physical and emotional changes that come with a baby is perfectly understandable.
I have 3 children and the return to sexual interest after their births varied. With my first I was on such a high that I actually begged my other half to make the most of the hospital bed in the maternity ward. With my second child, I was hit early by post-natal depression and feeling bad about life generally was not all that interested in any sort of relating to another human being beyond caring for my daughter. With my third child, I was busy at a new job but energised so all was well.
It is all too easy to tell the negatives about one's other half and to fall into that. However, on this point, I have to say that my partner was totally understanding. Yes, he made it clear that he still desired me and wanted sex but in no way, was I guilt-tripped into it.
The truth is libido may well come and go affected by the ups and downs (excuse the pun!) of life. Redundancy, debt, babies, bills, physical and mental health issues can all play a part in this.
I want to know why loss of libido is always described as a problem. If the person concerned does not want to have sex, why should they feel they have to? There is no freedom in that and if there is no freedom in sex, we are heading for really dodgy ground.
I recognise that if you are in a relationship, there has to be compromise but I think if you are truly loved, no man or woman should force or guilt trip you into sex. There are other aspects to relationships that can keep people close and happy.
A final point - I don't know about you but if I massaged my man as shown on telly this morning, there is no way it would last for twenty minutes without moving on to bigger and better things lol