My employment was termintated with effect from 1st April 2010. I was actually happy to leave a job that was so demoralizing and pretty much impossible to do because of the flaws in the project. However, I find myself the scapegoat and doubt that anyone will apologize when the project goes on to fail like it did for a year before I came into post and as I am sure it will in the future.
So reaping the benefits, I have less money but more time with my lovely children and less chasing my own tail. Time to look after myself, to get healthier/lose weight, time to play, time to experiment, time to blog and to write.
I have now discovered that my former boss is calling me a c++t on a publicly accessible website and also saying I am a Susan Boyle lookalike. This sent me on a real downer but two days later, I am questioning myself. Susan Boyle is a talented woman - the world seems agreed on that. So instead of worrying that I might look like her, perhaps I should celebrate the fact that I am compared with someone who has huge talent. It is all a question of perspective and by being upset, was I not buying into a society that is so hung up on looks, making harsh judgements on those of us who are not 19 any longer or are carrying weight?
My other half tries so hard to be supportive but I am pretty much impossible when on a downer on myself. Resolve for the umpteenth time not to push him away when he is trying to help me.
My brother has asked me what I will do now. Should I work, volunteer or accept stay at home mumdom until my little boy goes to school all too soon in September? The New Age believer in me tells me the universe will give me an answer. My mum always said things happen for a reason and she was right about most things in the end so let's see what happens.
What do I want to do? I want to write professionally but think I may be kidding myself that is possible.
Am I c**t? Do I look like Susan Boyle? I suppose there is a career in the latter and reflecting on previous bosses, perhaps one in the first too!