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Wednesday, 28 April 2010

Love is...

* when a mother gives up her child to give her a better life and does not find it easy to do so
* when a dad wants to keep his child all the same
* when another couple offer a child a home and family
* when the milkman and others bring Christmas presents to welcome the child to the community
* when the church and school welcome a child with open arms
* when neighbours invite a child to play
* when parents move house to be near the school after a bullying incident
* when parents buy a cake to celebrate their little girl "becoming a woman"
* when a mother cries all the way home after driving her child to university but does not let on
* when friends write an Ode dedicated to you and buy a big pink teddy on your 18th
* when someone thanks you for a Christmas card when they are not a Christian
* when someone special makes you smile in his very individual way
* when that same someone tells you that you are your own worst enemy and your life changes
* when you let somebody go
* when you don't let the memories go
* when your brother sends you posh clothes to get you through posh events
* when a crate of pink champagne arrives from your brother for your 21st
* when another brother rescues you from stressful situation with holidays
* when the same brother teaches you about wine
* when you accept a friend's life choices even though you struggle with them
* when your parents accept your choices even when they don't like them
* when you want to spend so much time in one person's company
* when friends accept your limitations and still want to be friends
* when you listen to things you would rather not hear because your friend needs you to
* when you accept a male friend not buying you pudding when out to dinner
* when someone drives you home even though miles out of their way
* when someone challenges you to be more than you think you can be
* when someone sees you in a crisis and offers you a home
* when someone tells you that actually they are gay (another one bites the dust lol!)
* when someone is willing to share their weaknesses with you
* when you take the risk of someone hurting you so badly
* when you are told that whatever negative influences in your life have told you, you are OK
* when somebody holds your hand even if you fight against it
* when someone tells you that if you prick someone, they may well bleed
* when you hold onto your partner when in labour
* when you have your first child and it is your first known blood relative
* when you put your loved ones above your own personal wants and sometimes needs
* when you pick up a zillion lego bricks and make a million snacks and drinks each day
* when you help someone with their homework
* when your children tell you are awesome and the best mummy in the world
* when you would change your wedding date so that your best friend could attend
* when you stick together even when it is really hard to do so
* when you learn to forgive and be forgiven
* when someone takes on house-husbanding
* when people are there for you when you are low, depressed and struggling
* when your children cuddle up to you
* when you would fight for your children no matter what
* when someone admits they got it wrong and you do the same
* when you still care even though someone has hurt you badly
* when you try to stay strong when your mum tells you she is terminally ill
* when you choke on your apple crumble when your mum is dying and it all gets too much
* when you have party nights with your mum in her final weeks. Whisky for her please!
* when you smile through your mum's funeral, celebrating who she was
* when you keep in touch regularly with your dad even though you are terrified of losing him too
* when your dad carries on parenting on you now mum has gone
* when you have the occasional kids-free time and remember why you got together in the first place

Love is always there, waiting to be found, new friendships to forge and old ones to maintain or renew. Where loved ones have moved on or died, memories remain and someone told me yesterday that such memories help to make us who we are. There is no trite or easy way to end this blog posting as I continue to find out more about love all the time. All I can say, that I have not always felt loved but looking back realise how much I am loved and how much I have loved.


  1. It sounds to me like your dad is a stand up fella.

    Jodie. xx

  2. Caroline (step daughter)4 May 2010 at 06:20

    As i have always said, no matter the hassel, the stress, the strain, the hurt you may have caused, the hurt you see others going through or causing you. The pain, humiliation, anger and blaming of yourself and others. You are who you are for all of these reasons. And we wouldnt change it for the world.
    :) x
    Many ppl grow up leading a hard life as we both know we did. But thats whta has made us the strong women we are now :)