Posts
It is, of course, very difficult for one person to meet another's total needs.
I have always known that I don't satisfy my husband completely. Recently, he has got close to somebody and formed a new relationship.
They spend a lot of time together out and about. They laugh a lot and share a drink or two. They share a lot of opinions and similar backgrounds. They can talk in a way that me and my husband can't. I have the experience of being in their company and realising that they are having their own private party and have backed off and retreated back home. My husband's new flame is a little older than him but that does not bother him. They are now living together.
Who is this new flame?
My Dad lol!
Tuesday, 28 September 2010
Monday, 20 September 2010
Joys of the child-free zone
1. I can enjoy talking to a grown-up without interruption
2. I don't have to share my meals
3. I can have a long, hot bath with extra-special bubble bath
4. I can use my electric toothbrush without a child trying to purloin it
5. I can sit in my sunny courtyard and read a book
6. I can take a break from waitressing and refereeing
7. I can tidy up and not see my efforts instantly destroyed
8. There is way less washing up to do
9. My body is my own with nobody pulling at it, ditto my mind and spirit
10.I can talk to someone on the telephone
11. I can blog, work on my novel, twitter, facebook, netmums or whatever takes my fancy
Perhaps the best joy of all is that by the time the taxi delivers my delightful trio of children, I will be relaxed and refreshed. I will feel able to give them proper quality time with homework, story-telling, playing, baking and so on.
And yes, I am sure my need for me time makes me a terrible mother but I know I can be a much better one now that they are all in school and I have time to think, feel and plan.
2. I don't have to share my meals
3. I can have a long, hot bath with extra-special bubble bath
4. I can use my electric toothbrush without a child trying to purloin it
5. I can sit in my sunny courtyard and read a book
6. I can take a break from waitressing and refereeing
7. I can tidy up and not see my efforts instantly destroyed
8. There is way less washing up to do
9. My body is my own with nobody pulling at it, ditto my mind and spirit
10.I can talk to someone on the telephone
11. I can blog, work on my novel, twitter, facebook, netmums or whatever takes my fancy
Perhaps the best joy of all is that by the time the taxi delivers my delightful trio of children, I will be relaxed and refreshed. I will feel able to give them proper quality time with homework, story-telling, playing, baking and so on.
And yes, I am sure my need for me time makes me a terrible mother but I know I can be a much better one now that they are all in school and I have time to think, feel and plan.
Tuesday, 14 September 2010
The School Bus
We have just moved to the country. As my husband needs to do a longish commute to work and I don't drive, this means we are taking advantage of the local authority's free transport schemes for school children.
My 9 year old did not like the idea of travelling on a bus from the start. Then he got hold of the council leaflet which focussed very much on safety so now he is using every frightening statistic to accuse me of child abuse in even thinking about putting him on an evil beast such as a bus.
My 6 year old says it is exciting to go on the bus and loves her bus pass as it is bright and yellow and she can wear it round her neck.
My 4 year old only starts full-time school next week but seems to think that going on the bus will be a huge adventure.
The night before they went on the bus for the first time, I barely slept. I am so used to either walking them to school or waving them off as my husband drives them there. Throughout the night, I fretted away with a really sore solar plexus wondering if I was doing the right thing.
I took them to the bus stop and met a mum there who reassured me that they would be fine. It was good to meet a new friendly face and she made me feel much better about things. The children got on fine and the bus driver told me that I did not have a pass so could not go with them. I was not proposing to but was standing at the door of the bus with a tortured face on clearly.
My 9 year old still thinks I am a terrible mother. He reports that the older children swear and throw tic tacs. Find it hard to focus on what he is saying as I remember my childhood addiction to orange tic tacs.
I get annoyed as he does an emotional job on his sister so that she changes her smile to a tantrum and refuses to go on the bus. I talk her round and remind her about her colourful bus pass. She loves all things colourful and she is soon cheery again.
I remember going on the school bus. I remember getting punched in the stomach by a lad. I remember Mum and Dad moving house to be nearer the school as a result of this incident. All I can say is that if my lot want to enjoy chickens, pigs and life in the country, the school bus is non-negotiable. I will spin it as character-building and may well find a shop that sells tic-tacs.
My 9 year old did not like the idea of travelling on a bus from the start. Then he got hold of the council leaflet which focussed very much on safety so now he is using every frightening statistic to accuse me of child abuse in even thinking about putting him on an evil beast such as a bus.
My 6 year old says it is exciting to go on the bus and loves her bus pass as it is bright and yellow and she can wear it round her neck.
My 4 year old only starts full-time school next week but seems to think that going on the bus will be a huge adventure.
The night before they went on the bus for the first time, I barely slept. I am so used to either walking them to school or waving them off as my husband drives them there. Throughout the night, I fretted away with a really sore solar plexus wondering if I was doing the right thing.
I took them to the bus stop and met a mum there who reassured me that they would be fine. It was good to meet a new friendly face and she made me feel much better about things. The children got on fine and the bus driver told me that I did not have a pass so could not go with them. I was not proposing to but was standing at the door of the bus with a tortured face on clearly.
My 9 year old still thinks I am a terrible mother. He reports that the older children swear and throw tic tacs. Find it hard to focus on what he is saying as I remember my childhood addiction to orange tic tacs.
I get annoyed as he does an emotional job on his sister so that she changes her smile to a tantrum and refuses to go on the bus. I talk her round and remind her about her colourful bus pass. She loves all things colourful and she is soon cheery again.
I remember going on the school bus. I remember getting punched in the stomach by a lad. I remember Mum and Dad moving house to be nearer the school as a result of this incident. All I can say is that if my lot want to enjoy chickens, pigs and life in the country, the school bus is non-negotiable. I will spin it as character-building and may well find a shop that sells tic-tacs.
Monday, 13 September 2010
The Blacksmith's Report
We arrived at our new home to find the previous occupant still in place trying to locate his Siamese cat. Eventually, he had to admit defeat and leave the cat to us so now we have a cat as well as two Labrador dogs. The other animal occupant (so far and excluding the humans in the family) is Mabel the hen.
Life is happy and I feel incredibly revived and in the right place for me at this time. As soon as I saw the house, I knew it was home, somewhere I think I have been looking for or trying to get back to. My daughter drew a picture at school that matches the house before we had seen it and my son said if he won a million pounds, he would buy a house with two annexes and a huge garden. That was weeks before I found this place so I think someone is directing operations (God, my higher self, mum).
I wake up and immediately want to get up. I can't recall the time I last felt that way, so positive about what the day might bring. I go out to my little courtyard area and sit at the table there eating breakfast. Then I visit Mabel and give her some chicken food and let her out of our barn so she can be really "free range". On the first day, she went missing and was returned by a neighbour but now she seems to have taken to us and stays close. She is quite the character and swears at you if you don't let her out on time or put her away for the evening early enough. She lets you stroke her and I just love having a hen to talk to. Sad but true.
I feed the cat and dogs and potter about. This is a great place for taking it easy, walking on the land, picking fruit from the little orchard, inspecting the barn contents and dreaming of what animals to buy next. Weaner pigs seem like a good option and I am weighing up the pros of ducks such as eggs against the mess I understand they make.
Today, it is great as the free school transport has kicked in so I wave them off at 8.15 and don't see them again till 3.45pm. Time to think, plan, dream and potter. Time to read and write, to walk, to listen to music, to be me. Him Indoors and I have even managed the odd hour in the pub learning to be a couple again.
So it's good and I am pleased to be blogging all about it.
I have not missed city life so far although recognise that may come at some point but for now, I am loving my escape to the country.
Life is happy and I feel incredibly revived and in the right place for me at this time. As soon as I saw the house, I knew it was home, somewhere I think I have been looking for or trying to get back to. My daughter drew a picture at school that matches the house before we had seen it and my son said if he won a million pounds, he would buy a house with two annexes and a huge garden. That was weeks before I found this place so I think someone is directing operations (God, my higher self, mum).
I wake up and immediately want to get up. I can't recall the time I last felt that way, so positive about what the day might bring. I go out to my little courtyard area and sit at the table there eating breakfast. Then I visit Mabel and give her some chicken food and let her out of our barn so she can be really "free range". On the first day, she went missing and was returned by a neighbour but now she seems to have taken to us and stays close. She is quite the character and swears at you if you don't let her out on time or put her away for the evening early enough. She lets you stroke her and I just love having a hen to talk to. Sad but true.
I feed the cat and dogs and potter about. This is a great place for taking it easy, walking on the land, picking fruit from the little orchard, inspecting the barn contents and dreaming of what animals to buy next. Weaner pigs seem like a good option and I am weighing up the pros of ducks such as eggs against the mess I understand they make.
Today, it is great as the free school transport has kicked in so I wave them off at 8.15 and don't see them again till 3.45pm. Time to think, plan, dream and potter. Time to read and write, to walk, to listen to music, to be me. Him Indoors and I have even managed the odd hour in the pub learning to be a couple again.
So it's good and I am pleased to be blogging all about it.
I have not missed city life so far although recognise that may come at some point but for now, I am loving my escape to the country.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)