tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3079353160770482445.post2952495840789763171..comments2023-08-15T06:52:58.161-07:00Comments on How to laugh in the face of it all: Can men and women ever be just good friends?mumsarcadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07642069416461195599noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3079353160770482445.post-19529633357368314312010-07-28T02:47:17.577-07:002010-07-28T02:47:17.577-07:00My story...
Twenty seven years ago, I worked with...My story...<br /><br />Twenty seven years ago, I worked with a lady: Denise. We were great friends; we travelled to and from work together and we'd often share our lunchtimes too, braving the knowing glances from our other colleagues. It didn't matter to us: We knew we were just friends; we knew nothing was going on.<br /><br />I became very fond of her, more fond than I'd ever been of 'just a friend' in the past. Eventually I became infatuated, and out of that grew even stronger feelings, though I never mentioned this to anyone, not even her.<br /><br />You see, I'd only been married for a little over two years, and certainly had no thoughts of actively seeking a relationship elsewhere; added to this, Denise was engaged and was getting married quite soon. (incidentally, all her friends saw her husband-to-be for the bad sort that he was; even her parents agreed with us, but she was besotted with him.)<br /><br />Our friendship continued for a few more months; I think she noticed that I'd stopped with the blatantly flirty remarks when I joked with her; occasionally I'd say something that would make her do a double take, but I was sure that my feelings weren't reciprocated in any way.<br /><br />Then one day, about a fortnight before she left, I'd just paid her a compliment, and another friend of ours, Jenny, said to me "Hey Dave, you never say lovely things like that to me!" My reply, meant to be in a joking manner was: "That's because I'm not hopelessly in love with you Jenny."<br /><br />Jenny laughed; I laughed; Denise just went quiet and didn't speak to me for days after. I asked Jenny if she knew what was wrong with her; Jenny just answered "Oh Dave," as though I was being stupid. Eventually I went to Denise and explained that what I'd said was only a joke, and that she shouldn't have taken it seriously. That seemed to do the trick, and we started being friendly again.<br /><br />Soon after, she left work to get married and to move to Oxford, where her husband had secured a job. She had a party at a hired restaurant and we all attended. I knew it was unlikely that I'd ever see her again after that.<br /><br />By the end of the night, I noticed her saying goodbye to everyone, and giving a lot of the guys from work a goodbye kiss.<br /><br />I couldn't face it. I wasn't sure I could handle my emotions, so I made an excuse and left. I turned as I left the restaurant to see her looking at me. She wasn't smiling.<br /><br />We had no contact until about 18 months ago. She found me on the friends reunited website and posted a message starting: "I don't know if you remember me.."<br /><br />Of course I remembered her. I made contact and we became friends again. I finally told her about how I'd felt at the time, all those years ago. She told me that she'd always known how I felt, and how she'd cried when I'd left her party early.<br /><br />She's single now. Divorced from her second husband. (the first marriage lasted six months - she admits we were right about him,) and she still lives in the Oxford area with her two children. We met up for a drink last Christmas. It was awkward at first, but after a while it was just like old times.<br /><br />We have occasional contact now, usually by email but sometimes by phone, and she's under instructions to call me whenever she comes home to visit her parents.<br /><br />Men and women can have platonic relationships, even when there's fondness involved, but it's difficult, though time helps.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12812203970952129824noreply@blogger.com